Disclaimer for new readers: I’m putting this here, as there are new sixth graders that have never read these before. If you have the incorrect opinion, you will be humbled.

Disclaimer: This is a Disclaimer, and below me is another disclaimer.

Disclaimer: If you disagree with my rankings, you’re wrong, and have to retake kindergarten to relearn making basic decisions. I, the Flaerhartian Tsar, are objectively correct, meaning that you aren’t.

10. Taco Bell. Taco Bell is a sickening, bowel destroying attempt at making Mexican food. If you’ve ever seen or heard about the Taco Bell bathrooms… well… how do I put this so that it can stay in the article, OH! Chocolate Rain! The Taco Bell bathrooms are slathered in Chocolate Rain, due to their god-awful food.

9. Wendys. Frankly, the only good things about Wendys are Frostys, and their Twitter. Other than that, they have the blandest, square hamburgers, and their dining room has been closed for an eternity.

8. Chick-fil-A. Their food and sauces are absolutely fantastic, but I cannot put them any higher, for, well, you know why.

7. Dairy Queen. Their food is pretty mediocre, but as their ice cream is delicious, they get seventh.

6. Starbucks. Before you kill me, listen up. Coffee tastes like mud, you know that. However, I buy hot chocolate on a normal day, and just a cup of whipped cream on the school field trips. Those are good.

5. Dunkin Donuts. When it comes to hot cocoa, Starbucks is better, but Dunkin has donuts, and Starbucks doesn’t, henceforth making Dunkin better.

4. McDonalds. Good, but overrated.

3. Dominoes is an objectively fantastic pizza delivery place, but their best item is their absolutely godsent Garlic Parmesan Cheesy Bread.

2. Burger King. This and first place was a tough choice. Burger King does have as much variety, but they have the best of the fast food burgers and onion rings. The bacon king absolutely slaps.

1. Jersey Mikes. This, I’m being honest, is a weird pick. Objectively, the Chipotle Mayo Cheesesteak at Jersey Mikes, is one of the best things, and possibly the best item at any fast food restaurant. Subway has nothing on Jersey Mikes. Subway is simply Jersey Mikes, but bad. Their colour scheme is terrible; I hate green, Jersey Mikes has better and fresher food, I can go all day.