The day is upon us.
Liberation is near.
I’m just gonna rank things to do this summer.
Going outside
I hate being hot, and summer is way too hot.
The heat in summer is agonizingly hot, and anyone sharper than a marble knows that going outside in the summer is a mistake. If you don’t wanna drown in your own sweat, don’t go outside.
Sleeping
Sleeping is nice, but a sheer waste of time. You don’t have much time.
The Pool
Going to the pool is nice. It’s fun, and can help cool you down. Plus, it’s fun to splash at innocent bystanders. It’s hilarious.
Playing video games
This is valid. It’s just an objectively fun way to spend your time, as long as you’re playing a good game. Fortnite players can go cry themselves to sleep.
Duolingo
An actually productive way to spend your time. Duolingo is objectively great, I have a 1090 day streak.
Drinking varieties of milk
MILK.
Milkshakes, ice cream, carbonated milk, chocolate milk, all of it is good.
Milk is just objectively good.
Also carbonated milk is a soda.
That’s it.
Forever.
Bye.
Matthew Rockmore, Penn State University