Hello humans. My name is Vin, and welcome back to “A Child Lectures You On . . .” In today’s edition, a child lectures you on books.This article is purely my opinion, and you may despise my opinion, but it is still my opinion.
First, for the good books. The best books are Lord of the Flies, The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Fahrenheit 451,1984, Animal Farm, Brave New World, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, The Scarlet Letter, The Odyssey, The Iliad, Island of the Blue Dolphins, My Side of the Mountain, What If, What If 2, How To, Les Miserables, all Harry Potter books after book two, and The Giver. So go and read all of these books. I promise they will change how you will see the world.
Now onto books I dislike (remember this is just my opinion). I dislike children's fantasy books (other than Kingdom of Wrenly, which is not terrible), but other than that, any book containing magic school children will anger me.
Here is why: the plot is like a train on a straight track on a sunny fogless day; you can see it coming from before you even open the book.
Next, every character fails to get priorities straight, your crush in class forgetting “National Hug Someone Who Probably Has a Crush On You Day" is less important than an Eldritch Lovecraftian horror coming to kill you, even if somehow Cthulhu's weakness is love.
Also a horror bent on destroying the earth will not change their mind based on what one sixth grader thinks, no matter how much they care about their friends.
Finally they make, in general, the worst decisions ever, and it feels like nothing is genuine; the character arcs feel forced, and It feels like you are just being told one story with different stuff.
So let me introduce you to my new children's fantasy story idea:
Hi, I am blob. My mom died in all world wars simultaneously, everyone in school bullies me and tries to sacrifice me to an Eldritch god so I would stop bothering them. Oh great, I am dating my crush, but oh no! She broke up with me because I sent her to the underworld. Now I have magic powers because my mom was a wizard. Oh no! It's Cthulhu; he is here to destroy the earth. It's time to scream friendship until he just leaves. I understand that sending my girlfriend to the underworld is wrong, do not ask why this revelation only took me ten and a half minutes. it's time to forget everything tomorrow.