Disclaimer: This is the first episode in a series of ‘The issues of PFMS, and how Sam Rockmore would fix them.’  

As all of you know, the school’s chocolate milk is egregious, but due to the recent shortage, I’ve determined that the cartons are to blame! But hey, that’s just a theory!

Since Elementary School, the chocolate milk has been god awful. It tasted atrocious, and that pretty much remained until early November of ‘23. There was a shortage of the horrendous paper cartons; likely because the toddlers in the factory making them went on strike. The school had to resort to buying the jugs, and it was heavenly. 

But then, a travesty occurred. The chocolate milk was back in paper cartons… What sick, evil, twisted, hateful, repulsive person decided to bring these back? It was appalling to see those abhorrent paper cartons. The toddlers couldn’t hold out long enough for a permanent change. If a toddler in the factory making those odious paper cartons is reading this, go for round two. Strike again. You’ll win this time. Viva la revolution.  

The unwelcome paper cartons can really do a number on chocolate milk. It’s never good from a paper carton, but Galliker’s is really bland; but when it’s in the paper cartons, it just tastes like the carton, and which idiot wants to drink “box” seasoned with fake chocolate?

Bring back those heavenly jugs. They were so much better. Please? Please, I beg of you. There’s only three people that can stop Chocolate Milk from being put in cartons here in PFMS: The superintendent, the toddlers in the factory, or the European Union.

Please?  Also, you may be wondering why the EU would be able to do anything about this? If the EU can make Apple put USBc in iPhones,  they could totally stop chocolate milk from being in cartons.

Please, EU, help. We desperately need your help.  Toddlers in the factory, strike again. You’ll win this time. Superintendent, get rid of the paper cartons, and lunch quality goes up a solid 200%. Please. Any of you. We need all the help we can get.

Thank you to Thesaurus.com and their 61 synonyms for ‘Terrible’.