Did you ever receive a reward for a good grade on a test at school? Or do your parents surprise you by giving you things to make you happy? This is where materialism all starts.

Materialism occurs when people attach importance to tangible objects. Materialists judge others by the material objects in their possession and admire those with more material objects. Not only will people define others by the material objects they own, but they will also define, and express, themselves by their material objects.

Materialists associate owning material objects with happiness. But material objects can’t give all the happiness people need. Indeed, research has connected materialism with many negative outcomes including gambling, debt, marriage conflict, and lower happiness. For example, research shows that materialism leads to loneliness, which in turn leads to materialism, which leads to loneliness… and so on. It’s a never ending cycle!

But what creates materialism in the first place? According to new research, materialism begins with parenting. There are two kinds of material parenting: rewarding children by giving material objects or punishing children by taking away material objects. These actions by parents lead children to relate material objects with success and achievement. As a result, children become more materialistic.

So what should parents do if they want to reduce materialism in their children? Instead of rewarding their children with material objects, including toys, electronics, and money, parents should spend more time with their children, providing comfort, encouragement, and fun. And, to punish their children, parents should take away privileges, not toys, electronics, or other material objects. In addition, researchers think that gratitude can prevent materialism.

So the next time your parents give you a reward for a good grade, be sure to express your gratitude and say thank you.