Disclaimer 1: It’s not going to be all of them. I have literally no opinion on some of these places (i.e. Yukon, Wyoming, Utah, Nunavut, Arizona, etc.).

Disclaimer 2: I am biased.

Disclaimer 3: I don't care if you’ve lived in one of these states and think it’s a good state. It’s not.

Disclaimer 4: If you’re a V*rginian or a Fl*ridian, you may not want to read this.

Disclaimer 5: Like I said, I’m out of ideas.

12. Virginia. Virginia is, by far, the worst U.S. state. Sure, they have history, but what I’m about to tell you is going to anger you and make you understand. My 8th grade comrades will be particularly aggravated. Those scumbags in Virginia made it illegal for people 14 and up to trick or treat! As I looked into it, the ages in some parts go as low as 12, and the punishment varies from a hefty fine to a six month prison sentence! So, hey, if any U.S. government officials are reading this, spare Nevada and New Mexico, and use Virginia as a Nuclear Test site. Sell Virginia back to the Bri’ish. Do whatever it takes! Oh, also, Richmond was the Confederate capitol, so yeah, that’s bad too. Again, I loathe Virginia.

11. Florida. Ah, yes. Oh, the crazy people, alligators, and people who worship a mouse that looks like it walked straight out of the Chernobyl disaster. If you don’t know why Floridians are crazy, go to Google, search “Florida man breaks into house, shaves cat’s head, leaves without stealing anything” and go to images. It does not disappoint.

10. West Virginia. Canada, but with a space in it, and translated from Portuguese to English.

9. New York. To sum up the rat problem, I’m going to quote something I remember one of my sixth grade teachers saying, “Those things aren’t rats; they’re dogs.” Also, New York City is overrated, and the upstate doesn’t have much besides an Econolodge and a pretty good German place that we stopped at on the drive to my favorite U.S. state and Canadian Province.

8. Massachusetts. There’s Boston. That’s it. But hey, Boston’s a good city.

7. Connecticut. I went there for a vacation when I was young, but don’t really remember it. Sometimes, on the way back from Maine (see Number 4 below!), we stop at a mall near the New York border which is always fun.

6. North Carolina. I used to vacation here, but it’s also very hot there.

5. New Hampshire. New Hampshire is a lovely place. There’s some good stores in Dover, and there’s more, but I’m blanking.

4. Maine. My grandparents live here, so I’ve been there a lot. Maine is a really pretty state, and they don’t skimp on their ice cream, which is often also better than Pennsylvanian ice cream. Specifically, there’s one place called “Shain’s of Maine” which is a really good restaurant/creamery that I would recommend to anyone randomly in Sanford, ME.

3. Pennsylvania. Do I even have to explain this one?

2. Maryland. Definitely the best state, no questions asked. Baltimore is great. There’s a small, historical town called Frederick, which is fantastic, and was really fun when I was there. I haven’t really been mentioning the flags (and Maryland has one of the best!), but all the states before this have had awful, awful flags. (Excluding NC, their flag is decent.) 

1. Quebec, Canada.  Quebec is the only reason I included Canadian Provinces in the title. I went to Quebec in May of 2023, and it was the best vacation I’ve ever had. Quebec City alone is worth the drive. The city itself is beautiful, there’s a waterfall nearby that’s taller than Niagra, plenty of little shops, museums, historical sites, etc. There’s also the two best bakeries I’ve ever been to. The architecture in Quebec is nothing like American cities, and if I didn’t have cats and the best chocolate milk at home, I don’t think I’d even have gone back to the States. The only issue I have is that instead of putting milk in jugs, they have them in these massive plastic bags. Also, they have a really good flag, which was ranked 3rd best in North America, but it should be first. I especially have a gripe with first place: Texas. Texas copied Chile, and the Chilean Flag wasn’t all that great to begin with. Also, the parliament building there is really cool.