Disclaimer: I know that I’ve done this before, that’s why I put “again” in the title, bud. Read the title.
Disclaimer: Your opinion is wrong. Don’t bother arguing.
Disclaimer: I’m smarter than you, and objectively correct. If you think you’re that much smarter than me, come tell me to my face, and I’ll ask you a question to prove that I’m smarter.
TRASH. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
23. Fortnite. Even if you’re one of those stupid, imbecilic liars who say Fortnite is a good game, you’re objectively wrong. Fortnite is just plain garbage. Nobody over the age of like 8? 7?? Look, what I’m trying to say is, Fortnite is for babies. Drink some chocolate milk, and play a better game to try to fix your dysfunctional brain.
22. Animal Crossing. This game is so boring that the North Korean government may use it as torture. Animal Crossing is mind-numbingly boring and is only for players who stink at just about every other game. If I had to pick between playing Animal Crossing for a day, or spending a month in Antarctica, I’d start packing my stuff for Antarctica.
This game being fun lasts about as long as an unpartitioned Poland.
Not Great--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
21. Pong. I mean, it is the first video game, but it’s boring and really simple gameplay wise. Also, the art style is terrible.
20. Terraria. I mostly included it to mess with my friend, but I don’t like this game, although I did only try the mobile version. Maybe the other versions are better, but I don’t actually wanna try the other versions.
19. Pokemon Scarlet. The plot is pretty good, actually! That’s the only positive thing I can say. It claims to be open world, but it has a very clear route, and even in that route, the levelling/difficulty curve is absolute trash. Also, it’s been around a year since the game was released, and they still haven’t fixed the bugs or lags.
18. Kahoot. The recent update ruined Kahoot. Kahoot used to be a really good game, but the profiles and game modes they added were so incredibly terrible.
Mediocre--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
17. Mario Kart is an okay game, just not much to say. Well, the roster is kinda lame, but it’s designed to mainly be Mario characters.
Good--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
16. Pokemon Sword. A lot of people didn’t like this game, and I mean, I get it. However, this game was my first mainstream Pokemon game, and I really enjoyed it, so I can’t really say much bad stuff about it.
15. Blooket. It really varies per game mode, and set. Blooket is an objectively good learning game. It probably shouldn’t be this high, but whenever I walk into school and see Blooket on the screen, my mood goes from a one to a six.
14. Five Nights at Freddy’s (FNAF) 2. I mean, of the three FNAF games I’ve played, this is the worst, and yet, it’s still fun. Unlike the others, this one can be kinda overwhelming with the sheer amount of animatronics out for your head. Still though, it’s really fun.
13. Deltarune. The still unfinished sequel to Undertale. It would be unfair to place an unfinished game higher, but the two released chapters were great. Although, apparently, the third chapter is just about finished.
Great-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12. Breath of the Wild (BOTW). The worse version of its sequel. I love this game, don’t get me wrong, but Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK) is leagues better, so it stays here.
11. Just Shapes and Beats. This is a really good party game, and the music and level design is great!
10. FNAF 4. I think this is the scariest of the three FNAF games I’ve played, but it’s also the most stressful one, which might be part of it. Also, it wants the volume on a ridiculous amount to be able to hear things coming, but it also results in the jumpscares being louder. Also, the lack of cameras makes it difficult to figure out where everything is.
9. FNAF 3. FNAF 3 is trash as a horror game, but as a game in general, it’s really fun. My personal favourite of the FNAF games. Like, with this one, you know when you’re about to get jumpscared. Plus, the only animatronic that can kill you has a silly jumpscare. I don’t know, it’s not great as a horror game, but is just plain funny.
8. Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion. This game was unironically fantastic, and the sequel, Turnip Boy robs a Bank is set to release on the Switch soon! The trailer for that game looks legitimately fantastic for a game about a criminal, mutated, sentient turnip.
7. Countryballs: Europe 1890. Okay, hear me out. Not a single person has ever heard of this, but it’s just a world takeover game that gets more difficult because of the country you picked. I’m taking over all of Europe as Azerbaijan on my save file, which I’ve been working on for months.
6. Smash Bros is the best party game objectively. I don’t need to explain more.
Gigachad---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5. Tears of the Kingdom is everything BOTW wanted to be. Making stupid devices and torturing Koroks. What could possibly be better? You can make really sophisticated devices, or stupid ones, like the flugzeug (two fans and a control stick used as a flying device) or the murder roomba (A homing cart, robot head, and a bunch of devices designed for nothing but mass genocide.)
4. Stardew Valley. I covered this in a longer article, but yeah, this game is great.
3. Hollow Knight. Good, but really irritating. It’s a fun game, and great story wise. If you want my stupidly long explanation, read the old article.
2. Xenoblade 2. This used to be my favourite game of all time, and now it’s the worst in the series. Still, I adore this game, but I think the other two Xenoblade games are leagues better. In my previous ranking, I put Xenoblade 2 over 3, which I think I only did because I’m nostalgic for the second game, and Pyra’s always been one of my favourite video game characters. (That didn’t really change.) Still, this game is fantastic, and if you have 180$ lying around, play the whole series. They’re all really good games, and worth the price tag. It will last you much longer than say Mario, or TOTK. TOTK was massive, but is tiny in comparison to Xenoblade 2.
Honourable Mention: Xenoblade 1. Okay, the reason it’s an Honourable Mention is because I haven’t finished the game. I’m on Chapter Five at the time of writing this, and it’s phenomenal. The plot so far is much simpler than Xenoblades 2 or 3.
For those who don’t want spoilers:
Move to Virginia. So why does it matter if I spoil it? You’re not going to play it anyway.
Now that all those people have moved to Virginia to avoid me spoiling a game that’s only two months younger than I am, let’s talk about the plot! My birthday’s April 15, 2010, and this game released June 10, 2010.
Okay, so, there’s these two robot thingies: The Bionis and the Mechonis. They’re fighting with each other. Eventually, they both die, but the Mechonis dies first, as the Bionis stabbed it. The sword it used would eventually become the Monado, according to folk stories. Now, the Mechonis and Bionis essentially become Planets, connected only by their swords. On the Mechonis live the Mechons, which are evil robots.
Now, on the Bionis, are the Homs, which are basically just humans. Just like the robots they live on, they hate each other. However, normal weapons cannot injure Mechons, only the Monado can. And this absolute Gigachad, Dunban, is the guy with the magic sword. Eventually, he’s fighting a decisive battle, and uses the full power of the Monado to commit Mechon genocide. He wins, but the Monado renders his arm useless, and himself crippled, so he goes back to Colony 9, to live with his sister. Now, this dweeb Shulk is the guy researching the Monado. He’s friends with this guy, Reyn, who is pretty much just his friend, and is only really there for comedic support, and so you don’t just have a party of 1 until chapter 4.
They’re also friends with Dunban’s sister, Fiora. Eventually, Mechons attack both Colony 9 and Colony 6. They completely take over Colony Six, where they eat people. They try to take over Colony 9, but Shulk swipes the Monado, and with some help from Fiora and Reyn, manage to murder most of the invading Mechon. However, they soon have to fight Metalface, this large Mechon with a face. Oh, by the way, the Monado lets Shulk see the future. So, during the fight, the Monado shows Fiora entering the battle in some sort of mech, and Metalface simply knocks it over, and stabs her to death. Now, what does Metalface do? He knocks over Fiora’s mech, and stabs her to death. Metalface, feeling content in trolling the main characters, and because he was losing, flies away. So, Shulk is understandably pissed, as a robot murdered his friend and flew away, so he vows to go and murder every single Mechon. A genocidal hero character…
Interesting. So yeah, they’re on their way, and decide that they want to visit Colony 6, not knowing that it was taken over by robots. So, they go through this cave, and Shulk gets a vision of Reyn getting murdered by a massive spider, like a 20 foot spider. But, this time, he’s able to figure out how to stop it, as the Monado gets a new power. So the two of them keep going, they meet this annoying little kid, and follow him back to a refugee camp outside Colony 6. They meet Sharla, the cool older sister of the annoying kid. She explains what happened to Colony 6, and then her brother runs off, thinking he can liberate Colony 6 by himself. Idiot.
So they start to go on their way, and Shulk gets another vision, where another massive robot kills Sharla and her annoying brother. However, he manages to stop this from happening and kills the robot. However, another robot comes along and steals her brother. So they go to Colony 6, and kill the robot. However, the robot had like 100 different chances to just eat the little kid, but he didn’t, because he got too cocky. Like, dude, is it that hard to take a little bite out of his head?
1. Xenoblade 3. This is my personal favourite. Anyways, this is both my favourite Xenoblade game, and my favourite game of all time. I wrote an in depth review, so just go read that.