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School Lunch Rankings by Henry Gyekis and Jordan Usibaravu

March 6, 2025

This month’s lunch rankings: top 5 and bottom 5 averages ranked 1-5

(This is not at all meant to offend or discourage anyone, this is completely factual based on official school lunch survey results. Eat whatever you want, also, for you impatient people, the short version of the best rankings are at the bottom)

5. At fifth worst, we have the unfavorable Broccoli Cheddar soup, which is either salted more than the ocean, or not at all. A 2.57 rating is sure to land it at a spot like that.

4. Next in line, we have a more recent addition to the roster: Beef and Cheese Ciabatta coming in at a pitiful 2.5 average rating.

3. Another newcomer that has only been served rarely, Chicken Tikka Masala takes the third worst place with a minute 2.43 rating.

2. At a low level even among the losers, Pepper jack ciabatta comes in at second with a dastardly 2.41 rating.

1. The third ciabatta so far and by far the worst, Chicken Ciabatta dives under the ratings and claims its place as the worst of the worst with a wincing 2.33 rating. R.I.P. Ciabattas


This months’ top rankings: worst to best 

5. Starting off the winners list, we have Two beef tacos, a classic of fridays coming in with a strong 3.15 rating!

4. Next up, a classic of our lunchroom, we have Popcorn chicken with a respectable uniform rating with an average of 3.17. 

3. Another fan favorite taking the middle place in the winners circle, the humble Grilled cheese takes the #3 spot with a considerable increase from #2, it got a 3.43 average rating.

2. Finally onto one of the most popular items of the lunchbox line, with people standing for what feels like hours just to get a piece, the famous Chicken and waffles with a powerful 3.64 average rating!                                                                                                                                                                    

1. Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the big kahuna, the king of the hill, I’ll bet none of you you guys would ever guess it, the Walking Taco takes the cake as the number one most approved item on the list, scraping by with a diabolical 3.65 average rating, beating chicken and waffles by just 0.01%!


TLDR:

5. 2 Beef Tacos

4. Popcorn Chicken

3. Grilled Cheese

2. Chicken & Waffles

1. Walking Taco

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