It’s me, Sam Rockmore, the guy who wrote “Echoes of the Fallen” and now here I am to rank the months because why not? Disclaimer: I don’t really feel cold, so that will not be included in my rankings. If you disagree, write your rankings on a piece of paper and put it in a red bin with a white symbol (There’s one in every classroom.)
12. March, the worst of the seasons. First of all, there are no major holidays, except Saint Patrick's Day, which I forgot, so it’s probably not a major holiday. It’s muddy, rainy, gross, and all my precious snow is melting. Sure, the flowers start growing, but I’m allergic to pollen. It feels like there's a spider web in your eye, but the only way to make the pain go away is to lie motionless with a wet cloth over your eyes for half an hour. (It’s not fun.) We’re looking for something, anything, to look forward to, but it simply isn’t there. I. Hate. March.
11. July isn’t great. It’s certainly a huuuuge step up from March, but still not great. It’s got the fourth of July with awesome fireworks, but that’s it. It’s also extremely hot and miserable, people expect you to go outside, with nothing to do or look forward to. It’s just an entire month with nothing to do. Boring.
10. September, nobody likes it, but I’d say it’s better than July. It’s finally cooling down, but there isn’t anything to look forward to except for October. It’s also the first full month of school, which can be hard to get used to.
9. May, the staple of spring. May is hot, has too much pollen, there’s still school, and people expect you to constantly go outside just because it’s nice out. Once again, no major holidays, or anything cool or notable.
8. January. January, January, January. You ask 5 people the worst month, January is most likely the answer. Sure, it’s bleak, cold, and there’s nothing to look forward to, but you then get to use the massive haul of Christmas presents, or whatever other holidays you guys celebrate, either way, you can have fun with the aftermath. There’s also snow activities; I like sledding, but I know people like Snowboarding, Snowtubing, Skiing, ETC.
7. August is fine. There’s still no major holidays, it’s burning hot, and there is nothing to do. The only thing notable about August is the start of school.
6. June, however, is the end of school, less hot, but still no holidays. Still not very notable.
5. February is nice. It’s a nice break from January, with a nice holiday: Valentine’s day. Granted, it was better when we were younger, with the bag of free candy. It’s still got snow, which is great.
4. November is nice, but not for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the most overrated holiday of all time. In November, I go to Maine to visit my grandparents and my uncle and get my first Christmas presents, which is great.
3. October is great. It’s pleasantly cold, no pollen, the trees are beautiful this time of year, and for my family, two holidays are present, my Dad’s birthday, and Halloween. Halloween is awesome. You can dress like an idiot and get free candy for it.
2. April, you likely don’t agree with the placement, but hear me out. It’s like a second Christmas for my family. My cousin’s birthday, my uncle’s birthday, my grandma’s birthday, my sister’s birthday, and my birthday are all in April. Easter also happens to be my second favourite holiday; free candy, presents, and Easter egg hunts. April is great.
1. December is self-explanatory. No matter what religion, or lack of one, there’s always something in December. My family does something called advent calendars, where you get a tiny present every day from the first to the twenty-third. On Christmas Eve, you’ll get an ornament for the tree. Christmas is such an awesome way to end off the year.
Image Source: Two Buttons Deep