Disclaimer 1: Pineapple does not belong anywhere near pizza.
Disclaimer 2: Neither does pear.
Disclaimer 3. This is a shorter article than usual.
8. Pear.
The moment I saw this, I had to throw up. I hate this.
Who invented this hot garbage? You are an insult to the beauty of humanity. You’re not a human. You’re a manifestation of everything that’s wrong with humanity.
You monster.
I have nothing left to say about you people.
You’ve committed a great atrocity. I will find you.
You can’t get away with this.
7. Pineapple.
This is an insult to everything Italy stands for.
Also, the evil scumbag who invented this monstrosity framed Hawaii.
He was from Greece, and moved to Canada.
6. Extra cheese. (Not the shake on)
Not a good choice by any means, but at least it isn’t one of the past two.
Pizza has enough cheese.
If I add more cheese, it’s just too much. It gets all stringy, and gets stuck in your throat, so you either guzzle down half the slice at once, or choke.
The shake-on extra cheese however? It doesn’t do that! It’s just delicious!
5. Onion.
It’s solid.
However, you need to have at least one other topping to take down the onionness.
Going just cheese, sauce, and onions? That… what… n-no!
That’s against the rules.
If you’re not a barbarian, and throw a meat on the pizza with the onions, then you have a good slice.
4. Bacon.
If I’m being honest, bacon on pizza is kinda overrated. Like, I mean, it’s good and all, but it’s not that good. Chill.
3. Sauce.
If you don’t put sauce on your pizza, what’s the matter with you?
Sauce is crucial.
However, there are some horrific people who put the cheese under the sauce?!
That’s not how that works!
Sauce, then cheese.
Chicago style pizza is another kind of pizza that’ll make you projectile vomit from just thinking about it.
The cheese does not go under the sauce in any circumstance.
If you use sauce like a normal person, it’s great!
2. Pepperoni.
Pepperoni is overrated.
It’s really good though.
I personally like the thick pepperoni better, but thin’s good too.
You can’t go wrong with pepperoni.
That’s all.
1. Sausage.
While pepperoni is good, Sausage is godsent.
The Domino’s Italian Sausage has the perfect texture, while also tasting fantastic.
If we’re doing two topping pizzas, I get pepperoni and sausage.
It’s just really good.
There’s no argument here.
Objective fact.