William’s Monster Movie Review - Episode 2: "Prey" by William Gartner

Non-Spoiler Summary of Film:

During the 1700’s a young native girl is trying to prove herself and fight to survive against an advanced and armored Feral Predator.

My Review:

This is the newest Predator film and it is fantastic. Also it is one of the first films to have a version entirely in the native’s language Comanche. This is a great film that you must watch. I saw this film in 2021 during the pandemic and it still stands today. The film has great CGI and intense fight scenes. In all, Prey's job was to revive the series after the failure of 2018’s “The Predator” and it definitely succeeds. Prey also has great cinematography which is why this should be a must watch. We have also been informed of another standalone predator film coming soon called “Predator Badlands” and I will be ready to do this again.

William’s Monster Movie Rating: 97 out of 100. 

It was a masterpiece and you should watch it.

William’s Monster Movie Review - Episode 1: Godzilla Minus One by William Gartner

Non-Spoiler Summary of Film:

A couple of years after the end of WW2, former Kamikaze pilot and survivor Shikishima is still feeling guilt from the war, but when Godzilla returns, Shikishima must rise to the occasion.

My Review:

I saw this most recent Reiwa Era Godzilla film three times, and this film was fantastic. It had great CGI and the characters were over the top, but that's what you expect from a Godzilla film. The film is less campy than the others, which I love, and this version of Godzilla is not a hero like its American counterpart. Also, it has character development, unlike the previous Toho Godzilla film. I was informed about this film by Mr. Harper, and I got to see the black and white version, but it was just as good. This film had a budget of just $15 million, and it is the first Godzilla film to be nominated for the Oscars. 

William’s Monster Movie Rating: 98 out of 100. 

When this comes out on DVD, I will definitely pick up a copy.

Top 10 Best Space Movies by Kale Cunningham

As much as I like writing about space events, I also love space movies. And today I discovered that I hadn’t written an article on what I thought were the best space movies. Not the Sci-fi genre, but the more realistic side of space. 

10: The Right Stuff 

Based on Tom Wolfe's novel, the movie shows the Mercury 7 astronauts as they race to beat the Soviet Union in the early period of the space race. They will have to face many unknown dangers, unexpected consequences, and pain staking delays.     

9: A Million Miles Away

The true story of NASA Astronaut Jose M. Hernandez and his quest to become the first Mexican-American immigrant to fly into space. He was rejected 11 times but never gave up hope and finally in 2001 he was expected, but even then he had to wait seven years before he could reach space. 

(A personal comment, I found it a heartwarming tale and triumph for all space movies.)

8: Deep Impact 

Some people may call it a knock off of the famous Armageddon released the same year. But Deep Impact is good in its own ways. Oscar award winning actor Morgan Freeman delivers a fantastic performance and memorable quotes. And it has also been praised by NASA for being more accurate then Armageddon. 

7: First Man

The true story of Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon and his journey at NASA. The story takes place over a course of 8 years, from Armstrong flying supersonic jets to his first step on the moon. The movie shows his personal life and the personal challenges he faced trying to get to the moon. 

6: Apollo 13

Another incredible true story based on the near disaster in space. And how three astronauts and thousands of scientists and engineers came together to get them safely back home to Earth using the Moon’s gravity to shoot them back home. Featuring actors Tom Hanks and Bill Paxton

5: Armageddon

When NASA discovers that a killer asteroid is heading towards Earth, they decide to recruit a team of oil miners to drill a hole in the asteroid so they can plant a bomb and destroy the threat. However the crew has no experience with space flight whatsoever, but with the clock ticking it's up to them to save humanity. Starring Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson, and Liv Tyler. 

4: Interstellar 

An Oscar award winning movie tells the story of a dying Earth. Knowing that the planet is on its last leg, an undercover NASA agent launches a mission to a nearby black hole. Following Einstein's general relativity equations, (if you don’t know what it means here's a simple breakdown. Albert Einstein made an equation that said if you enter a black hole you would be teleported through time and space. You would then come out of another black hole, it works basically like a portal. However, this theory has never been proved correct.) After traveling through the portal, astronaut Joseph Cooper must search for a habitable planet that could sustain humans. 

3: Gravity 

Winner of 7 Oscars, the movie takes the attention of the rising number of space debris and what may happen if a disastrous incident were to occur. What begins with an inexperienced astronaut’s uneventful mission turns into a case of survival. Facing impossible odds, astronaut Ryan Stone must find a way back to Earth or become a part of the debris. 

2: Apollo 11

The true story of the first moon landing. That explores every factor of the mission in a very historically accurate format. Includes all the successes and near disasters that happened on that trip that changed everything. 

1: The Martian

Matt Damon plays an astronaut that is left on Mars. Alone with limited food and water supplies it seems like he will be the first human to be buried on Mars. But he is not willing to die without a fight. Based on the bestseller by Andy Weir, the story of an astronaut who is alone on Mars who wants to get back to Earth. Alive, preferably.      

Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom Review by Nakula Balachandran and Cooper Leitzell

Storyline

Link and Zelda have defeated calamity ganon at Hyrule castle, but as they go searching for more answers, they stumble across a body. A body covered in malus/gloom that is hollowed and dead. Zelda ends up falling into a pit in the clash against this mysterious body. As Link wakes up after trying to save Zelda, he realizes he is not on the ground, but on a floating island. When Link makes his way to the ground, he makes his way to Lookout Landing. He realizes that after he got the paraglider, this mysterious body had created 4 mysterious monsters. Link has to explore the land and defeat these monsters and defeat the mysterious body.

Dungeons

The dungeons in this game are significantly better than Breath of the wild. These dungeons are filled with tough puzzles that will really put your brain to work.another reason is that the storylines for these dungeons have a much better plot and require you to do a quest to get to a dungeon. You may be thinking “well you had to do puzzles to get into dungeons in Breath of the Wild” these puzzles offer a much harder challenge including the plus side of getting weapons as you move along the storyline.

Abilities

Yunobo ability 

As you may know, when you complete the fire dungeon, you get this ability which is a ghost of Yunobo. You can fire this version of Yunobo which when it impacts with an object, it will explode in a big fiery cloud.

Sidon ability

This ability gives you a ghost version of sidon that you get from the water dungeon. This ability when you use it, you get a shield of water around you.

Riju ability 

For this ability, you get a ghost version of Riju, which you get from the lighting dungeon. This ability generates a huge field of electricity which when you hit anything in the surrounding area, it will get struck by a big bolt of lightning.

Tulins ability

This ability you get a ghost version of Tulin, which you get from the wind temple. This ability causes a gust of wind when you're paragliding which boosts you forward.

Comparisons

As you know, Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom are very popular games on the Nintendo Switch, but which one is better? First of all, in our opinion, the dungeons are way better in Tears of the Kingdom and are more puzzling, but Breath of the Wild is a much harder game. The shrines are better in Breath of the Wild because they offer more of a challenge.

Our Rating of Tears of the Kingdom

Nakula - The overall gameplay of TOTK impressed me. This game is a newer generation of the Zelda series and the storyline had a very nice twist. But some things are not as good as in BOTW. Like the champion abilities and the shrines.

OVERALL RATING FOR TOTK: 9.5/10

OVERALL RATING FOR BOTW: 9.3/10

Cooper - The overall gameplay of TOTK is really impressive for being on the Nintendo Switch. This game's storyline is good and makes sure to incorporate parts of Breath of the Wild’s storyline. Overall, I rate this game a 10/10 and a must play for any Legend of Zelda fan.

Disclaimer 

This game is ONLY for the Nintendo Switch.

Ranking Video Games Again Because I’m Truly Out of Ideas by Sam Rockmore

Disclaimer: I know that I’ve done this before, that’s why I put “again” in the title, bud. Read the title.

Disclaimer: Your opinion is wrong. Don’t bother arguing.

Disclaimer: I’m smarter than you, and objectively correct. If you think you’re that much smarter than me, come tell me to my face, and I’ll ask you a question to prove that I’m smarter.

TRASH. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

23. Fortnite. Even if you’re one of those stupid, imbecilic liars who say Fortnite is a good game, you’re objectively wrong. Fortnite is just plain garbage. Nobody over the age of like 8? 7?? Look, what I’m trying to say is, Fortnite is for babies. Drink some chocolate milk, and play a better game to try to fix your dysfunctional brain.

22. Animal Crossing. This game is so boring that the North Korean government may use it as torture. Animal Crossing is mind-numbingly boring and is only for players who stink at just about every other game. If I had to pick between playing Animal Crossing for a day, or spending a month in Antarctica, I’d start packing my stuff for Antarctica.

This game being fun lasts about as long as an unpartitioned Poland.

Not Great--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

21. Pong. I mean, it is the first video game, but it’s boring and really simple gameplay wise. Also, the art style is terrible.

20. Terraria. I mostly included it to mess with my friend, but I don’t like this game, although I did only try the mobile version. Maybe the other versions are better, but I don’t actually wanna try the other versions.

19. Pokemon Scarlet. The plot is pretty good, actually! That’s the only positive thing I can say. It claims to be open world, but it has a very clear route, and even in that route, the levelling/difficulty curve is absolute trash. Also, it’s been around a year since the game was released, and they still haven’t fixed the bugs or lags.

18. Kahoot. The recent update ruined Kahoot. Kahoot used to be a really good game, but the profiles and game modes they added were so incredibly terrible.

Mediocre--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17. Mario Kart is an okay game, just not much to say. Well, the roster is kinda lame, but it’s designed to mainly be Mario characters.

Good--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16. Pokemon Sword. A lot of people didn’t like this game, and I mean, I get it. However, this game was my first mainstream Pokemon game, and I really enjoyed it, so I can’t really say much bad stuff about it.

15. Blooket. It really varies per game mode, and set. Blooket is an objectively good learning game. It probably shouldn’t be this high, but whenever I walk into school and see Blooket on the screen, my mood goes from a one to a six.

14. Five Nights at Freddy’s (FNAF) 2. I mean, of the three FNAF games I’ve played, this is the worst, and yet, it’s still fun. Unlike the others, this one can be kinda overwhelming with the sheer amount of animatronics out for your head. Still though, it’s really fun.

13. Deltarune. The still unfinished sequel to Undertale. It would be unfair to place an unfinished game higher, but the two released chapters were great. Although, apparently, the third chapter is just about finished.

Great-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12. Breath of the Wild (BOTW). The worse version of its sequel. I love this game, don’t get me wrong, but Tears of the Kingdom (TOTK) is leagues better, so it stays here.

11. Just Shapes and Beats. This is a really good party game, and the music and level design is great!

10. FNAF 4. I think this is the scariest of the three FNAF games I’ve played, but it’s also the most stressful one, which might be part of it. Also, it wants the volume on a ridiculous amount to be able to hear things coming, but it also results in the jumpscares being louder. Also, the lack of cameras makes it difficult to figure out where everything is.

9. FNAF 3. FNAF 3 is trash as a horror game, but as a game in general, it’s really fun. My personal favourite of the FNAF games. Like, with this one, you know when you’re about to get jumpscared. Plus, the only animatronic that can kill you has a silly jumpscare. I don’t know, it’s not great as a horror game, but is just plain funny.

8. Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion. This game was unironically fantastic, and the sequel, Turnip Boy robs a Bank is set to release on the Switch soon! The trailer for that game looks legitimately fantastic for a game about a criminal, mutated, sentient turnip.

7. Countryballs: Europe 1890. Okay, hear me out. Not a single person has ever heard of this, but it’s just a world takeover game that gets more difficult because of the country you picked. I’m taking over all of Europe as Azerbaijan on my save file, which I’ve been working on for months.

6. Smash Bros is the best party game objectively. I don’t need to explain more.

Gigachad---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5. Tears of the Kingdom is everything BOTW wanted to be. Making stupid devices and torturing Koroks. What could possibly be better? You can make really sophisticated devices, or stupid ones, like the flugzeug (two fans and a control stick used as a flying device) or the murder roomba (A homing cart, robot head, and a bunch of devices designed for nothing but mass genocide.)

4. Stardew Valley. I covered this in a longer article, but yeah, this game is great.

3. Hollow Knight. Good, but really irritating. It’s a fun game, and great story wise. If you want my stupidly long explanation, read the old article.

2. Xenoblade 2. This used to be my favourite game of all time, and now it’s the worst in the series. Still, I adore this game, but I think the other two Xenoblade games are leagues better. In my previous ranking, I put Xenoblade 2 over 3, which I think I only did because I’m nostalgic for the second game, and Pyra’s always been one of my favourite video game characters. (That didn’t really change.) Still, this game is fantastic, and if you have 180$ lying around, play the whole series. They’re all really good games, and worth the price tag. It will last you much longer than say Mario, or TOTK. TOTK was massive, but is tiny in comparison to Xenoblade 2.

Honourable Mention: Xenoblade 1. Okay, the reason it’s an Honourable Mention is because I haven’t finished the game. I’m on Chapter Five at the time of writing this, and it’s phenomenal. The plot so far is much simpler than Xenoblades 2 or 3.

For those who don’t want spoilers:

Move to Virginia. So why does it matter if I spoil it? You’re not going to play it anyway.

Now that all those people have moved to Virginia to avoid me spoiling a game that’s only two months younger than I am, let’s talk about the plot! My birthday’s April 15, 2010, and this game released June 10, 2010. 

Okay, so, there’s these two robot thingies: The Bionis and the Mechonis. They’re fighting with each other. Eventually, they both die, but the Mechonis dies first, as the Bionis stabbed it. The sword it used would eventually become the Monado, according to folk stories. Now, the Mechonis and Bionis essentially become Planets, connected only by their swords. On the Mechonis live the Mechons, which are evil robots. 

Now, on the Bionis, are the Homs, which are basically just humans. Just like the robots they live on, they hate each other. However, normal weapons cannot injure Mechons, only the Monado can. And this absolute Gigachad, Dunban, is the guy with the magic sword. Eventually, he’s fighting a decisive battle, and uses the full power of the Monado to commit Mechon genocide. He wins, but the Monado renders his arm useless, and himself crippled, so he goes back to Colony 9, to live with his sister. Now, this dweeb Shulk is the guy researching the Monado. He’s friends with this guy, Reyn, who is pretty much just his friend, and is only really there for comedic support, and so you don’t just have a party of 1 until chapter 4. 

They’re also friends with Dunban’s sister, Fiora. Eventually, Mechons attack both Colony 9 and Colony 6. They completely take over Colony Six, where they eat people. They try to take over Colony 9, but Shulk swipes the Monado, and with some help from Fiora and Reyn, manage to murder most of the invading Mechon. However, they soon have to fight Metalface, this large Mechon with a face. Oh, by the way, the Monado lets Shulk see the future. So, during the fight, the Monado shows Fiora entering the battle in some sort of mech, and Metalface simply knocks it over, and stabs her to death. Now, what does Metalface do? He knocks over Fiora’s mech, and stabs her to death. Metalface, feeling content in trolling the main characters, and because he was losing, flies away. So, Shulk is understandably pissed, as a robot murdered his friend and flew away, so he vows to go and murder every single Mechon. A genocidal hero character… 

Interesting. So yeah, they’re on their way, and decide that they want to visit Colony 6, not knowing that it was taken over by robots. So, they go through this cave, and Shulk gets a vision of Reyn getting murdered by a massive spider, like a 20 foot spider. But, this time, he’s able to figure out how to stop it, as the Monado gets a new power. So the two of them keep going, they meet this annoying little kid, and follow him back to a refugee camp outside Colony 6. They meet Sharla, the cool older sister of the annoying kid. She explains what happened to Colony 6, and then her brother runs off, thinking he can liberate Colony 6 by himself. Idiot.

So they start to go on their way, and Shulk gets another vision, where another massive robot kills Sharla and her annoying brother. However, he manages to stop this from happening and kills the robot. However, another robot comes along and steals her brother. So they go to Colony 6, and kill the robot. However, the robot had like 100 different chances to just eat the little kid, but he didn’t, because he got too cocky. Like, dude, is it that hard to take a little bite out of his head?

1. Xenoblade 3. This is my personal favourite. Anyways, this is both my favourite Xenoblade game, and my favourite game of all time. I wrote an in depth review, so just go read that. 

Top 5 Kanye Songs by Sean Fulmer

5. Come to Life

It is a very faithfull song and the end lyrics are the best part of any song I have ever heard.

4. Runaway

The beat and the deeper meaning of the lyrics carry it.

3. We Don't Care

One of kanye's first songs and a classic the chorus is amazing and tells the story of kanye.

2. Touch the Sky

The beat, chorus, and features are the best I've ever heard, and it makes you feel good about yourself.

1. Devil in a New Dress

Amazing.

Review Of The New Fortnite Season by Aidan Murphy

Epic Games posted a video and leaks started appearing. And on November 3, 2023, Fortnite: OG released, to a widely positive reception. To overview what changed, let’s start with the new battle pass. 

Last season was pretty bad, as the eight skins were so generic and average. But this season, they really upped their game. Although there are only four skins, and I would’ve preferred to have more, they are actually quite good. 

For starters, Spectra Knight is the tier one skin, which is far better than last season's tier one skin, Nolan Chance. He was just boring and kinda lame. She has many style options, like helmets and armor which will be unlocked in later weeks, and you can customize her colors right off the bat. 

The next skin is Lil Split, who is an ice cream version of Peely. He has a strawberry style and a green unlockable style too. 

Next is Renegade Lynx, who is a hybrid between Lynx and Renegade Raider, one of the rarest skins in the game. She has a lava style. 

And finally, there is Omegarok, who is a hybrid between Omega and Ragnarok. This is the best skin in the battle pass in my opinion. He has a style with a helmet or without, and you can customize his lights, just like the original Omega. He is the highest tier skin, but the battle pass is only 50 tiers this season, so it is not too hard to get everything. 

Now let’s go to the map. It’s the Chapter 1 Season 5 Map, but it has some slight changes. Like the center building in Tilted Towers nicknamed the Trump Tower, being replaced with the No Sweat Insurance Building, and the house in Fatal Fields being replaced with another barn. This doesn’t really take away from the whole experience though.

The original weapons have been brought back, but not all of them. The graphics are almost just like the game was five years ago, and you might be wondering, “Why would you want old graphics?” Well, the old graphics fit the game better as they were more cartoony, but now they are more realistic. So they don’t really match the feel of the game and the engine that Fortnite used for the graphics was deleted, so they had to try their hardest to recreate them and I think they did a good job.

Even though we are only a week into this season, so far I give it an 8.9/10. 

You should try it.

Super Mario Bros. Wonder Review by Julian Nowlin

In August, when I watched the first trailer for Super Mario Bros. Wonder, I wasn’t impressed. It looked like a boring game, except for the elephant part. It also looked easy, based on the courses it showed. But when I played it for the first time, I had second thoughts.

I think the best thing about this game is the pace and difficulty. In the levels, there is no time limit, which I absolutely love. I always wanted to explore everything in a level in previous games, but the time would always run out. In this game, you can go at a pace you like. 

The difficulty is perfect. It’s not too hard that you get stuck on it and stop playing, but some of the levels are challenging. Even when you get frustrated on a level, it doesn’t stay for very long. When you start the course again, you pretty much forget about it. And when you beat the level, it feels good.

The world. I like the Poplins in the Flower Kingdom, where the game takes place, but mostly because they give me Wonder Seeds, an essential item in the game. I thought that the talking flowers throughout the course would be annoying, but sometimes they are funny and are nice to hear. 

Enemies and power ups are good in this game. My favorite power up is the elephant. When you get it, you become an elephant and can slap away enemies with your trunk. You can also water dry flowers. Another new power up is the bubble flower, which can trap enemies in bubbles and act as platforms for the player. There are tons of new enemies that I like, but I won’t get to that because it would make this longer than it already is.

Badges help you complete courses and find things. You can get them by beating Badge Challenge levels. Although you can only have one badge equipped at once, they are helpful. My favorite is the Sensor Badge, which helps you find warp pipes and wonder flowers. Some badges are only available at the Poplin Shop, but I recommend buying them. 

You can pick your character when you enter the game, and there are lots to choose from. You can choose Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Yellow Toad, Blue Toad, all Yoshi colors and Nabbit. They are all the same except for the Yoshis and Nabbit. They can take damage, but can’t use power ups. 

Mario Wonder is a great game for the Nintendo Switch. If you’re thinking about buying a new video game, you should pick this one. You won’t regret your choice.

All Kanye West Solo Albums Ranked by Aidan Murphy

10. Jesus Is King

In this album, Kanye takes a full gospel turn. A lot of his previous albums had songs with gospel themes, including Jesus Walks from The College Dropout, and Ultralight Beam from The Life Of Pablo. But in this album, the entire tracklist revolves around Christianity and being a good person. However, this album seems to be hated by many, even though overall I'd say it is a 7.5/10. Some of my favorite songs are God Is, Follow God, Use This Gospel, and Every Hour.

9. Ye

This is a very short album. But that is made up for with the songs that are on it. I don’t think it is as good as some people say it is, like in a lot of lists I see this around the number 5-1 spots which I think is pretty wrong. Some amazing songs on this album are Ghost Town, Violent Crimes, and All Mine.

8. Yeezus

Kanye took a very different route on this album, choosing more aggressive and violent production. It’s actually very influential, as you can hear a similar style on many albums like Utopia by Travis Scott. I love songs like On Sight, Black Skinhead, I Am A God, New Slaves, and Bound 2.

7. Donda

Even though this album is way too long, it’s still really quite good. The original album without the deluxe edition is already 27 songs long, then adding the deluxe edition it is 32 songs long. And some of the songs that make up this large tracklist do kinda feel like filler. But some of my favorite songs include Off The Grid, Praise God, Hurricane, Life Of The Party, Jail, Moon, Believe What I Say, 24, Come To Life, and many others.

6. 808s And Heartbreak

This is easily Kanye’s most influential album. The stylized use of autotune is still being used to this day by many young rappers, along with the punchy, hard hitting 808s sound. This album was made after the death of his mother, Donda West, and the breakup of his then fiancée Alexis Phifer. Because of this, most songs have somber lyrics and slow beats. This doesn’t mean the songs are bad though. When this album was released in 2008, fans of Kanye’s previous work were turned off by his new sound. In fact, they hated it. But the younger generation loved it. And that’s how it became such a popular type of rap. Some great songs are Heartless, Paranoid, Say You Will, Coldest Winter, Robocop, Street Lights, and Amazing.

5. The Life Of Pablo

For me personally, this is the most “Kanye sounding” Kanye album. This was released in 2016, right when the Yeezy shoe brand started to really take off. If you don’t know, Yeezy is Kanye’s shoe brand that he collaborated with Adidas to distribute. All the songs sound like what kanye had been leading up to at this point. A more modern, clean sound. And it worked, as I love almost every song on this album. Some standouts are No More Parties In LA, Saint Pablo, Father Stretch My Hands Pt1, Pt2, Ultralight Beam, Waves, Wolves, Highlights, Famous, and 30 Hours.

4. The College Dropout.

Kanye’s debut album is still one of his best. After working as a producer for most notably Jay-Z and many others, he decided to produce his own album after reluctantly being signed to Jay’s record label, Roc-A-Fella Records. But he proved all his doubters wrong after creating one of the most iconic albums in rap history. There is not a single bad song on this album, and the added skits bring some comedy into an already fun album. Some of the best songs include All Falls Down, We Don’t Care, Two Words, The New Workout Plan, Slow Jamz, Jesus Walks, Spaceship, Never Let Me Down, Family Business, and Through The Wire.

3. Late Registration

There’s really not much story to this album, other than the creation of his own record label, G.O.O.D. Music. He also really started to become popular around this time, and was becoming both a celebrity and music artist. Kanye used a mix of his old, College Dropout sound, and a new orchestral sound. This created some wonderful songs, like We Major, Touch The Sky, Gold Digger, Hey Mama, Bring Me Down, Drive Slow, Heard ‘Em Say, Crack Music, Roses, Addiction, Diamonds From Sierra Leone, DFSL Remix, Gone, Celebration, and Late. I basically named all the songs, but that just goes to show how good this album is.

2. Graduation

This was the peak of Kanye’s personal life. He was on top of the world, being rich, famous, and happy. This is evident by listening to the songs on this album. The songs are braggadocious, upbeat, and fun. They all have a more modern, techno sound that just fits perfectly with the lyrics of the songs. Not only is this Kanye’s best selling album, it’s also the fan favorite, often being put at the top of the list. My favorite songs are all of them. They’re all so good and still great to listen to today.

1. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

This is his magnum opus. Every song on this album is amazing, and no one can tell me otherwise. This album is more of a piece of art than just music. From Dark Fantasy to Who Will Survive In America, it’s consistently fantastic. Not a single bad song. Runaway is actually beautiful, with a perfect feature from Pusha T. Gorgeous is catchy and fun and has a great beat. Dark Fantasy sounds so cool but also artistic with it’s intro. And Devil In A New Dress cannot be described with words. This is 100% his greatest album of all time, if not the greatest album of all time. 

Why Stardew Valley is Everything Animal Crossing Could Have Been by Sam Rockmore

Disclaimer: This is not my normal type of article.

Disclaimer: If Animal Crossing is your favourite game, you  are objectively wrong.

Disclaimer: I’m running out of ideas. If you have an idea for a ranking article, email me.

Okay, as my title clearly states, we’re going to be covering Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, you’re living under a rock and are allergic to thinking. But, you may be wondering, what are these games? Look it up. It’s not the 17th Century; we have Google and Wikipedia, you don’t need me.

Also, minor spoilers for both games, but nobody cares, and this is annoying.

I’m going to cover all sorts of things in both games, so get comfy.

PRICE

Obviously, the price is going to be a part of this. Animal Crossing for the Nintendo Switch is $60. Stardew Valley for the Nintendo switch is $15. A clear, better option, but is Stardew Valley a better game?

GRAPHICS/ART STYLE

Now, Animal Crossing is in 3D, but that game is hideous. Some people like the art style, and those people are wrong. The colours are horrifically bright, and the textures are just plain lazy. They wasted all their time making the game 3D, so that they didn’t bother to make the game look good. Nintendo can make pretty games (TOTK, Xenoblade, SSBU, etc), they just got lazy with this one. 

Now, Stardew Valley, even though it’s a 2D game, is a whole lot better art-wise. It’s a really nice pixel art style, with appreciation to detail everywhere. Everything is so thought out, and unlike Animal Crossing, there’s variety in the landscape. 

Both games change by in-game season, but no matter what season it is, Animal Crossing is ugly. Animal Crossing allows you to visit other islands, but, frankly, they all look the same. In Stardew, there’s so much variety, from your farm, to the mines, to Pelican Town, to any house, the forest, etc. Animal Crossing is just House, or Island. Nothing else.

MAP

Now, naturally, we want to explore a little bit. In Animal Crossing, the map is just your Island. However, Stardew Valley has many different places to explore. Your farm alone is larger than the entire Animal Crossing island. Certain floors of the mine are larger than the Animal Crossing island, and the mine has 120 floors. Also, if you want an island, there’s always Ginger Island.

CHARACTER CUSTOMISATION

Now, this is a weird thing to cover, but Stardew Valley destroys Animal Crossing here. In Animal Crossing, no matter how much you try, your character will always be ugly. Also, it charges you in-game currency to unlock more haircuts or hair colours, meanwhile, Stardew lets you make your own colour, and has so much more detail on the customisation menu, it’s insane.  Also, Stardew lets you pick a pet, while Animal Crossing doesn’t, but that’ll make more sense in a minute.

NPCS/CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS

In Animal Crossing, the villagers are animals. That’d make them interesting, right? Wrong. So. Utterly. Wrong. They have no soul whatsoever. Their personalities and dialogue are more boring than solitary confinement. Now, in Stardew, all the characters have personalities, although some of them mean, like George, or Shane, but there’s also a lot of really good characters, unlike Animal Crossing, who has Tom Nook the Capitalist, Timmy and Tommy the junior capitalists, and the rest of them have literally no personality at all. They wasted all their time making like 400 NPCs, but didn’t give them any personalities. Stardew Valley has only 45 NPCs, but unlike Animal Crossing, they’re not lifeless husks without a personality. 

Also, Animal Crossing’s friendship system is just plain stupid. It has a friendship exp system, but you can’t see how much friendship you have with an NPC, meanwhile, in Stardew, the friendship system is nice and simple. You can check how many hearts you have with any given NPC in a little menu, the max amount of hearts you can have with an NPC is 14, but for the undateable NPCs, it’s 10. Oh, and if you wonder what I meant by undateable NPCs, you can date some of the NPCs in Stardew, but not in Animal Crossing, but frankly, if Animal Crossing had a dating feature, I’d be pretty worried, as I said, all the characters, except the player, are animals. Also, with one of my favourite NPCs in Stardew, if you give her a Quartz, or other gemstone, she’ll say, “Hey, how’d you know I was hungry? This looks delicious!” So, yeah, Stardew has a rock-eating NPC and Animal Crossing doesn’t, making Stardew objectively better.

GLITCHES

Okay, I’m one of the people who like to exploit glitches, so this matters to me. So, if Animal Crossing  even has any glitches, they don’t do anything helpful or funny, so I don’t care. In Stardew, you can clip out of bounds and get one of the hardest to get items solely with a sword, and you can break into people’s rooms without raising friendship by using a chair. Ironically, that hard to get item is just a statue to put in your house.

GAMEPLAY

Both games share fishing, cutting down trees, interacting with other characters, putting things in your house, exploring;  yeah, it’s a lot. However, Stardew makes these activities more fun. Also, since Stardew is meant to be a farming game, you can grow various things, while in Animal Crossing you can only grow flowers. Also, Stardew has mining and combat. The only thing Animal Crossing has that Stardew doesn’t is custom designs, which, I’ll admit, could make Stardew even better.

STORY

Neither game has much of an overarching story, but in Stardew, a lot of the characters have their own little story inside the game, allowing Stardew to win in this category as well.

OVERALL

So what did we learn? Stardew is better in literally every way.  Animal Crossing is a trash game and a waste of money. 

Why Rinku Should be Canon by Madeleine Ko

Rinku is the ship between the Vocaloids Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Rin, and it should be canon, here is my opinion on a 10 reason list. A lot of this is either speculation or from Project Diva/Mirai so take all of this with a grain of salt. My sources are mostly personal experience from playing the project diva and project mirai games or just reasoning stuff. 

10. They were released in the same year. ACT1 Kagamine Rin and V2 Hatsune Miku were released the same year. This means they would have(If they were humans) experienced similar life events. 

9. Their voices harmonize nicely with each other. Rin, of course, harmonizes best with Kagamine Len because they were both voiced by Asami Shimoda. However, Rin sounds nice when paired with Miku. Examples include, Seraph on the ring, Poster Girls Prank, Summer Idol, Doki Doki Yuri Gakuen, Doppelganger Identity, etc. 

8. They have a nice color scheme when  paired together. Miku is green and Rin is yellow, so they have a nice analogous color scheme. 

7. Vocaloids have no canon personality, so there is nothing from saying that they aren’t canon. 

6. The opening song for  Project Diva: 2nd is Kocchi Muite Baby by Ryo. There is a line in this song where Miku says guys are stupid. (オトコってバカばっかね)

5. In Project Mirai, Rin and Miku kissed. Not only did they kiss, they kissed in front of a RAINBOW. This was in a song as opposed to an opening or cutscene, so it holds little footing, but they still kissed, in front of a RAINBOW. 

4. In many songs in the PjD series, they have repeated romantic encounters. (Doppelganger, Summer Idol, Colorful Melody, Reverse Rainbow, Promise, Rin-Chan Nau, etc.)

3. In Summer Idol, at the end they decide that they should just be a couple. This was just a one off line, but the song was written by Oster Project, and her opinion holds a bit more footing than others (If you know you know). 

2.  You can purchase stickers from 5 below with an Image of Kagamine Rin with a rainbow behind her. This could be read in an amalgamation of ways, firstly, it’s well known the rainbow represents the LGBTQ+ community. However, it could also allude to the song Promise, or Reverse Rainbow (This is the one where they kiss.) Now, this is all just speculation but the stickers also had references to Sing and Smile by Ren:G and Electric Angel by Giga, so assuming it might be a reference isn’t too far off. 

1. In the Project Diva 2nd Opening, they kissed. Well, they almost kissed. Luka interrupted them. Also, they slept next to each other on the bus. In addition, their names are also under a love umbrella in the classroom, along with a drawing of them on the chalkboard.

All in all this is just my opinion so please don’t attack me ;_; Rinku is at least a possibility in the Project Diva and Project Mirai. Again this is mostly speculation, leave me alone. Also writing my first article of the year on a ship between two robots is … not what I expected but I wanted to so plz leave me alone. 

My favorite Project Diva Levels by Madeleine Ko

What is Project Diva? A rhythm game developed by SEGA and Crypton future media.  I will not be including any fan-made maps as fun as they may be, and all ranking will be based on the Nintendo Switch version with no DLCs. 

Terminology: 

Maps- the notes and things you have to hit in the rhythm game

Holds - Having to hold onto a note for extra points. 

11. Neko Mimi Archive - Ex-Extreme. I like this level, despite how hard it is. I hope a newby reads this article, picks up the game,  then rage quits after trying this level. 

Slides - sliding the joystick to either the left or right for points and parts of a combo. 

    10. Alien Alien - Normal. Alien Alien is a fun song, and the challenge section is too hard, making it just the right amount of difficulty for new players. 

9.  Secret Police - Hard.  This is why my wrists are sore as of now. It is very difficult to play, but not too difficult if you practice it a lot. There are a lot of repeated notes you have to hit in succession, as well as slides. But just remember. As you live a carefree life our numbers are increasing. 

8. The World is Mine - Extreme. Another easy extreme song. This one has holds but no slides, as well as many notes in succession. The song is also very catchy. 

7.  Unhappy refrain - Hard. One of the only actually hard hard songs. Very fun to play. 

6. Remote controller - Extreme. Lots of notes in succession, holds, slides, and kagamine len being a punching bag. 

5. This is the happiness and peace of mind committee - hard. The first minute or so is easy, but the chorus and verses are moderately hard. There are slides, and lots of notes in succession. 

4. Magnet - Easy. Not very hard, but you can watch the PV. It matches up with the music decently enough, and the PV is interesting.

3. World’s End Dancehall - Hard. One of the easiest hard songs. The song isn’t too complicated so there really isn’t too much to do on the map. The song does a good job capturing the material, and the PV isn’t too distracting (at least the world dance version). There are only a few parts when notes are in succession. The only song I’ve managed to perfect on hard. 

2. Doubleganger - Hard. There are lots of slides which makes it very fun. KulfiQ has written a really catchy song about friends in a band. The PV is kind of distracting, but other than that it is enjoyable. 

1.  Amatsu Kitsune - Extreme. This is possibly the easiest extreme Map in all of Project Diva. The slides and holds make it fun to play as well as having you actually use both hands as opposed to one. 

Ranking Star Wars: The Mandalorian Characters By: Anthony Poust

Image Source: StarWars.com

I wrote this before the season 3 finale came out.

Disclaimer!

When I rank your favorite character as a “F,” don’t come at me. These are all opinions. Plus, I will be including The Book Of Boba Fett charcters. I will be ranking characters with the ranks of: S, A, B, C, D, and F.

 E never existed, And don’t worry, this is Spoiler-Free!

First, let's start off with the main character, Din Djarin, (The Mandalorian)

Din Djarin is an epic character. The Mandalorian counties the story of Mandalore from The Clone Wars. For me, Din Djarin is an easy S. 

Next, is the sidekick of Din Djarin, The Child. 

I feel The Child really helped The Mandalorian as a series really soar through the rankings. He interacts well with all the people in the show, like Din Djarin and Ahsoka Tano. The Child is an easy S.

Next, is IG-11. IG-11 has always been one of my favorite droids of all time. After watching the finale of season 1, IG-11 is definitely one of my favorite characters ever. For me, an easy S. This also counts for IG-12

 Not everyone is going to be a S, OK?

Next up we have Kuiil. If his name doesn't ring a bell, he is the ugnaught from season 1. He isn't too memorable, but is a great character. I give him a B. 
Next we have Cara Dune. She was in season 1 and season 2 of The Mandalorian. She was a good ally of Din Djarin, so I give her a B.

Next we have Greif Karga. He helped build the community on Navarro in season 3, and he is a great leader. He is an ally of Din Djarin, and I give him an A.

Next we have Ahsoka Tano. She was originally In Star Wars: The Clone Wars which is my favorite TV show. When she appears in the show, she is trying to find out information concerning Thrawn. Who is Thrawn? Thrawn is the bad guy from Star Wars Rebels. With the new Ahsoka show coming out at the end of the year, I look forward to where this story takes us. Ahsoka Tano is an easy A. 

Next is Bo Katan Kryze. Bo Katan is also originally from The Clone Wars and played a huge role in the later seasons. She has some history with the Darksaber, so seeing her wield it in The Mandalorian is really cool. Bo katan Kryze is an easy B.

Next we have Paz Visla. He is related to the creator of the Darksaber. At first, I didn't like him, but after episode 7 of season 3, Paz Visla is now one of my favorite characters. Easy A. 

Next is The Armorer. She makes armor, just like her name suggests. I’m not the biggest fan of her, but she is a cool mandalorian. For this, she gets a C rank.

Next is Frog Lady. For me, her name is SO CREATIVE! 

(I’m being sarcastic) She was in one episode where Din Djarin had to deliver frog eggs. For her extremely creative name, she gets a D rank.

Now we have Boba Fett. Boba Fett was already one of the best characters in the movies, but now he gets his own show?! It’s amazing! Boba Fett is an easy S rank.

Now we have Boba Fett’s sidekick, Fennec Shand. Fennec was originally in season 1, but after certain events became Boba Fett’s sidekick. Fennec is a B rank.

Next we have Ax Wolves. He was formally working for Bo Katan, but after certain events left her. She goes to him in season 3, but where’s your loyalty Ax Wvolves? D rank.

Next up is Peli Motto. She works on Tatooine and her business is droid and ship repair. She loves The Child and for that she gets a B rank.

Next up is R5-D4. R5-D4 is sold to Din Djarin by Peli Motto. R5-D4 helps out Din Djarin in season 3. He’s a great character, but a little shy. He gets an A rank.

Finally, we have Moff Gideon. Moff Gideon is the bad guy of The Mandalorian. I do not like this guy! Moff Gideon invades planets and wants the darksaber for bad intentions. F rank. 

This Is The Way!

Star Wars: The Clone Wars review By Anthony Poust

Intimated by 7 seasons? You’re in the right place. I watched this about a year ago, and every second was amazing. The Clone Wars is definitely my favorite show ever. It provides so much baskstory to all the movies in the Skywalker Saga. Are you worried about 7 seasons? Well, I would put in headphones and listen to it while listening to it. I would get the stuff done in my day-to-day life, and watch The Clone Wars! I suggest this to all Star Wars fans, and people who are new to the Skywalker Saga. 

Review Of LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga by Anthony Poust

Today I am going to review LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga. I remember when this game was supposed to come out in like, 2019 or something, and I pre-ordered it, but this game got delayed a lot, so I am so happy it came out finally! 

This game was released April 5th, 2022. I played this game chronologically, starting with Episode 1 to Episode 9. Every small detail of this game made me just love this game more. From small details and jokes only a true Star Wars fan would notice, to hilarious moments anyone can laugh at.  This game has hours of replay for 100% completion and rewards to unlock. The boss battles of this game are truly amazing and engaging. Even better, this game has already received tons of new characters like Captain Rex from The Clone Wars and Din Djarin from The Mandalorian. This game is one of my favorite video games ever, and a must play for all Star Wars fans.

Upcoming Movies in 2023 by Zoe Dubois

As summer is coming up you may want some new movies to watch with family here is a list of new movies coming soon!

• Paint

• Owen Wilson plays Carl Nargle. A #1 TV painter who thinks he has it all until a younger better artist takes the spotlight and takes everything carl loves

• Wonka

• Young Willy Wonka and how he was able to meet the Oompa-Loompas on one of his earliest adventures.

• The Hunger Games: The ballad of Song birds

• Set 64 years before the first film it shows the origins of Coriolanus Snow and his relationship with Lucy Gray Baird, which will lead him to becoming the tyrannical leader of Panem

• Guardian of the Galaxy Vol.3

• Still reeling over Gamora's death, Peter Quill must rally his team to defend the universe and protect one of their own. If this goes wrong it could lead to the end of Guardians as we know them.

• Fast and furious 10/Fast X

• Dominic Toretto must protect his crew and family from Cipher, who now joins forces with Dante Reye, the son of lord Herman Reyes, seeking revenge for his own fathers death

• Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom

• When ancient power is unleashed, Aquaman must forge an alliance with an unlikely ally to protect Atlantis, and the world, from irreversible devastation

•  The Marvels

• Captain Marvel has reclaimed her identity from the tyrannical Kree and taken revenge on the Supreme Intelligence

• The Flash 

• Barry Allen AKA The flash travels back in time to prevent his mothers death, which traps him in a alternate reality without metahumans

Xenoblade 3 Review by Sam Rockmore

Disclaimer 1: This review, like any review, will have a little bit of spoilers, so if you hate spoilers so much, skip the part about the story, but let’s be honest, you’re not gonna play it anyway.

Disclaimer 2: PLAY XENOBLADES 2&3; they’re the best games ever. Play Xenoblade 2 or 3, and you will rise above the rest. If you don’t play either game, you are a sad swine-dog, but that’s easily remedied. Play one Xenoblade, and you are automatically cool, but if you play both, you are a god, a gigachad, and the best that the human race has to offer.

Disclaimer 3: I have to repeat it: PLAY XENOBLADES 2&3. If you choose to ignore my begs and pleads, and don’t bother to play either game, well, I will break into your house, and carbonate all of your milk. 

Disclaimer 4: If you’re a Fortniter, go to google translate and translate this: 我希望每次你玩 Fortnite 时，你周围的氧气都会慢慢变厚。当你开始在空中窒息时，你意识到你永远不应该玩 Fortnite。当你绝望地咽下最后一口气时，我希望你意识到《堡垒之夜》对你做了这件事。在你最后的努力中，你吐出了这样的话，“我不应该玩 Fortnite ...... *死*” into English.

INTRODUCTION

Ah, yes, Xenoblade games. The pinnacle of Switch gaming. These games are a part of my life, and I’ll be reviewing one of them today. Xenoblade Chronicles 3. Yippee! On July 29, 2022, the world became a better place; Nintendo and Monolithsoft released Xenoblade 3. I got this game for Christmas and began to play it in February (I was busy with Pokemon Scarlet, which was not nearly as good). I beat the game on the last Monday before our Spring Break, and from then, I’ve been attempting to 100% the game.

GAMEPLAY

Gameplay feels like one of the most important things in a video game. If your story is very good, but the gameplay is terrible, the game is trash. You can’t experience the story without the enemies and bosses being fun to fight. In Xenoblade 3, the gameplay is pretty simple to learn and understand. When you’re not in a fight, you basically just use the Joy-Stick to walk or Run, the B button to jump, the R button to target an enemy, and the A button to either interact with the items laid out around the vast landscape, or draw your weapons so you can go into combat mode if you have an enemy targeted. Now, in combat mode, the buttons are slightly more complicated. You use your letter buttons to use your class arts, which are your different attacks that recharge either when you auto attack, or just over time (This has a story connection, and is also a reference to the previous games.) Your arrow buttons are used for talent arts, which recharge the other way, so if your normal arts recharge over time, your talent arts recharge from auto attacking. One of your arrow buttons will activate your Ouroboros form, which basically has you fuse with a specific other team member, depending on who you’re playing as, which makes you stronger and invisible until the form overheats, and you split again. When you hold down “ZR” and have a talent art and a normal art recharged in the same row, you can fuse them to do more damage and make your Ouroboros form stronger. Also, chain attacks: as you fight, your chain attack gauge will start to fill as you use arts. When it’s full, hit the plus button to trigger a chain attack. Every character in your party has a certain amount of Tactical Points (TP). At the start of your chain attack, you can pick from one of three orders. Every character has a different order, and when you complete one, the character whose order you just completed will also attack the enemy with a stronger attack. To finish an order, you must attack with various characters to get the TP gauge to 100%. Healers cannot complete orders unless they’re a hero that you unlocked later in the game. When you complete an order, you get a random character back. If you do the orders of two characters who can interlink (Turn into Ouroboros), you can do an Ouroboros order for more damage, albeit ending the chain attack. Man, the combat system is hard to explain.

STORY

WARNING: THIS PARAGRAPH CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE 1ST CHAPTER OF THE GAME. 

Now that all of the losers are gone, let’s talk about the story. There’s two nations, Keves and Agnus; they’re at war. Everyone except for Nopon, Monsters, and some other people discovered later in the game, but everyone else lives only for ten years, called Terms. At the end of their life, they get sent off by the Queen, but practically nobody makes it out alive. Also, there’s these people called off-seers, who send off the dead by (This is not a joke) playing the flute. 

Now, anyway, let’s start the actual story. You start the game as Noah, a Kevesi soldier and Off-Seer in his eighth term, and the rest of his squad, Eunie, who’s easily the funniest character in the game, Lanz, who I didn’t find all that interesting in the first few chapters,  Mwamba, who is practically irrelevant after chapter 1 (You’ll see why in a minute), and Riku, who’s like a little furry creature that has a really hilariously Chad voice. They kill a couple of Agnians, and then they’re basically told, “Welp, battle’s over, back to Colony 9.” But Noah wants to flute for the Agnians that he literally just killed, so they miss the Ferronis (Really big robot)  back home and have to walk. When they get back, a day later they’re basically told, “We found some weird thingy and we’re gonna go kill it.” When they go to the weird thingy, they realize that Agnus is after it too. Mwamba leaves to do something else there. They shoot down an invisible ship and it lands and an old guy steps out with a fancy rock; Noah’s crew goes to investigate, but they’re stopped by a couple of Agnians. Commence big fight. The Agnians, who were actually smart enough to wear their helmets; their helmets break, but they keep fighting. In the Agnian group, there’s Mio, who’s an Off-Seer like Noah, but 3 times more interesting, Taion, who is basically the only smart person in the group (In both the Kevesi and Agnian squads), and Sena, who’s role in Chapter One is basically comedic relief, and is the biggest meme in the whole game for saying “Yippee” in a funny way in chain attacks, and Manana, another Nopon, that is basically comedic relief for the whole game.  The fight continues until the old guy basically tackles Noah and Mio to try to make them stop fighting. He activates the magic rock, says a couple things and then, “Cause the face of your real enemy is…” Suddenly, a yellow saber thingy goes straight through his heart and suddenly a tall, humanoid monster steps out, holding Mwamba and the Agnians’ friend, and when the monster realizes that the Kevesi and Agnians have stopped fighting, it says, “What? Too scared about your buddies to fight?.” The monster lifts Mwamba and the Agnians’ friend up to its mouth, and the camera looks to the sky, but you can hear the monster biting them, and then everybody screaming. If it wasn’t obvious, he killed them. The camera looks back down and Noah and Mio are understandably upset about all this and go towards the monster, causing them to interlink into Ouroboros, basically a fused form. Then the monster gives a speech telling them that they’re Ouroboros and it’s Moebius and then they fight some more. The Moebius shines a symbol into the sky, and says “Now all the world will be your enemy.” and leaves. The old guy says that he’s sixty, that everyone deserves more than ten years, tells them to go to Swordmarch (Really huge sword in the Cadensia Region) and then dies. Both the Agnians and Kevesi go back to their respective colonies and then immediately get chased out of their colony and find each other and decide to team up and go to sword city (This is very oversimplified).

GRAPHICS

I got all the hard stuff out of the way, now into some easier stuff. The map of this game is supposedly 5 times bigger than the one in Xenoblade 2. Also, the graphics in this game are about 100 times better than the graphics in Pokemon Scarlet and still runs better. The landscapes in this game are amazing. All the beautiful islands in the Erythia sea, the Urayan mountains, all the high up places; this game is amazingly beautiful and still runs well.

MUSIC

This game has some of the best music in any video game. The Moebius theme is terrifying, and really makes you feel like you’re fighting a genocidal demon. The normal battle theme is also an absolute banger. The boss music is fantastic. Not gonna lie, video game music can vary greatly, but the music in Xenoblade games is always good, and this game keeps that up.

I beg of you, play this game!

Top Movies of All-Time (Opinion) by Gabriel Brannick

This article is going to be of The Top 10 Movies of All Time in my opinion

10. Avengers Endgame (movie)

9. Spider-Man No Way Home (movie)

8. The Exorcist(Movie)

7. Sinister(Movie)

6. Coach Carter(Movie)

5. Last Night In Soho(Movie)

4. Dahmer (TV Show)

3. Rocky IV (Movie)

2. Bullet Train (Movie)

1. Breaking Bad (TV Show)

Ranking a Bunch of Nintendo Switch Games (Because Why Not?) by Sam Rockmore

Disclaimer: If you’re offended by my placement of Animal Crossing or Fortnite, do me a favour, and seek a brain surgeon to fix you.

Disclaimer 2: If you think a different game should be on top, you are the reason Shampoo has instructions. You are the blight on our society. Play Xenoblade 2 and 3. Become a higher being. Xenoblade will change your life. Give in to it now.
Disclaimer 3: No, I did not copy Vin, this was my idea and he wanted to do it as well; my articles just take longer.

Terrible Games----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15. Fortnite, I’ve been advised not to put in my original description so as to not offend the three people that play this game unironically, but if you want to read the original paragraph, it is linked here.

14. Animal Crossing (Specifically New Horizons) is very boring. The whole premise of the game is to build relationships with the villagers but how are you meant to do this and become attached to them when personality = no? Also, there’s a bunch of wait a day cooldowns which are the most annoying thing ever.

13. Cuphead. I like hard games, but this, if you’ve ever beaten this, you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize for not obliterating your Nintendo Switch.

Okay Games-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12. Minecraft is really, super overrated. It’s an okay game, don’t get me wrong. But the top selling video game of all time? Really? I mean, yeah, it’s a fun game, but I’ll keep it in 12th.

11.  Mario Kart is a nice game. One of the first six I’ve ever gotten. It’s a pretty nice game, and easy to play. However, it’s only good when you have other people to play with.

10. Pokemon Scarlet is a great game, but also a laggy, buggy mess. If Nintendo would fix this, it would overtake Mario Odyssey. If the switch can run Xenoblade 2, which is older, and looks better, it should be able to run this game just as well, if not better.

9. Super Mario Odyssey, my first ever Switch game. A great game for people trying to get hooked on Switch gaming. It is kinda really easy, and I’ve beaten it fifteen times.

Good Games-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8. Legends of Zelda, Breath of the Wild is a great game. It’s open world and not too difficult, making it excellent for beginners, yet hard enough to still be fun for experts.

7. Turnip Boy commits Tax Evasion. Yes, this is an actual game. I did not make it up. It’s a charming little game with a weirdly good story, and great gameplay. I actually 100%ed this game and it was fairly difficult, but not as bad as most of the other games on my excellent list.

6. Super Smash Bros, one of my favourite party games. Even though I cream anyone who plays against me, it just doesn’t get old. Plus, unlike Mario Kart, this has a story mode. 

5. Just Shapes and Beats. The best rhythm game, by far. It also works as a party game, letting you and your friends team up, but again, I have three friends, and lucky for me, this game has a great story mode. A game that can tell a story without words is automatically a great game.

Fantastic Games---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. Undertale. Where do I start? This game, for a retro looking game, surprisingly has a nice art style. It has great music (Megalovania, one of the most famous meme songs came from this game!) With three different paths, the game is very replayable. By the way, the paths are Neutral, Pacifist, and Genocide. I’ll explain them a little. Neutral is normie Undertale, where you kill some of the monsters. This mode has a bunch of different endings depending on which bosses you kill. Pacifist is more difficult, but still not too bad, and has, by far, the best possible ending. Finally, Genocide is maniac Undertale. This is impeccably difficult and I’m pretty good at video games, but I have never beat Sans, the final boss of this route. Lastly, if you think this is the best ending, I will throw you into the Garvaza gas crater, (also known as the gates of hell.) because seriously, if you think mass-slaughtering likeable characters is the funnest thing imaginable, get help.

3. Hollow Knight, a masterfully made game. The Devs put so much thought and effort into this game, it’s absurd. Like, just look at the map.

Image Source: Scriptors War

This game has an excellent story for you to piece together, but I’ll explain it a little. If you hate spoilers more than anything else, skip to the final game. 

You play as the Knight, one of very many vessels created by the White King in the Abyss to stop the infection. You are not the Hollow Knight. The infection is this slop that makes all the bugs go crazed and homicidal, that sprouted from the Radiance, who is trapped inside the Hollow Knight who is sealed behind a door locked by three dreamers, who are locked in eternal sleep. You, as a pathetic little vessel, have to collect various items so you can platform across this beautiful game. You end up falling down a hole and into Resting Grounds, where you get the Dream nail, which you can use to access the minds of the dreamers and kill them. You can’t kill them straight up because of some sort of forcefield, so you go into their minds and kill them. You collect essence so you can fully power up the dream nail and enter White Palace, which, I’ll describe the platforming in there in one word: vruefheriuvreuifwe9fbwruifbwiurfbrbviwvbiwrbwuifbiuufbeuireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagodhelpme. When you finally finish with your Joy-Cons in one piece, you bash the corpse of the white king to find the Kingsoul, well… half of it. Oh, god, please don’t tell me that there’s more platforming and a really hard boss waiting for me… Cry harder, Cringeling, because that’s what’s next! You go into Queen’s Gardens, do more tough platforming, kill the Traitor Lord, and talk to the White Lady, who gives you the other half of the Kingsoul, then go to the Void to turn the Kingsoul into the Void heart, then go to the Hollow Knight, beat him up, he barely puts up a fight; he’s basically an Emo Zombie thing, and it would honestly be worse if it actually put up a fight.. You dreamnail it and go into its mind, and kill the Radiance, which is as hard as White Palace, maybe worse. Oh, but just you wait, I haven’t mentioned the post-game! There’s the trial of the fool, which is named that, because you’re a fool for trying it. There’s the Pantheons which are boss rushes, Pantheon 5 is every boss in the game, plus Absolute Radiance,  which is just the Radiance, but Faster, Stronger, and has Double HP. I’ve never made it to P5 or the Absolute Radiance, but my friend Vin has, and he also made a review for this game which I’ll link here. Also, this game is beautiful and has fantastic music. When I say fantastic music, I mean FANTASTIC music. Word of advice: When you reach Deepnest, do everything in Deepnest when you’re in there and never come back.

2. Xenoblade Chronicles 3, excellent game. I got it for Christmas this year, and it’s an absolute masterpiece, however, I haven’t finished it, and when I do, I’ll put up a review in the newspaper. But yeah, great game. I’ve been waking up at 5 AM just to play this game. It’s similar to the second one, but also so different at the same time. This is a masterpiece.

1. Xenoblade Chronicles 2, my favourite game. My god, these games are packed with content. First of all, this game is the closest to perfect you’ll ever get. First of all, this game, like the other Xenoblade games, is absolutely stunning. The characters are incredibly well written, really well designed, and extremely likeable (Except Rex, I find him kinda cringe…); my favourite video game character ever, Pyra, is from this game. But anyway, back to ranting about how great this game is. This game is the fourth most played game on my family’s Switch, even though I’m the only one in my house who plays this game. This game is huge. It took me around 250 hours on my first playthrough of this game. Also this game has some of the most underrated music in all of gaming. My personal favourite is the Mor Ardain theme, which I’ll link here for anyone who wants to hear it. I’m not going to spoil the entire plot, but I’ll give a rundown of the start of the game. Well, first, I have to explain some of the basic lore. There’s these things called drivers and blades. The drivers start as normal humans and the blades start as rocks called Core Crystals. A worthy human touches the rock, becoming a driver and awakening a blade. The blade’s main lifeforce is the driver. If/when the driver dies, the blade turns back into a rock and loses its memory. There’s also the architect, who is basically god, and the Aegises, which are basically super legendary blades. You play as Rex, a little bladeless cringeling. He’s a salvager, a guy whose job it is to pull junk out of the cloud sea. He’s at the Argentum trade guild, and the guy who runs it, Bana, tells Rex that he’ll get 200,000 gold if he works with two really scary looking guys, and an actual cat-girl (Cat-people are one of the many races in Xenoblade 2; they’re more commonly referred to as ‘Gormotti’ which is based on the Titan of Gormott. Oh, did I mention that everyone lives on these massive things called Titans, although Rex’s adoptive grandpa is a Titan, just not one of those huge ones.) But yeah, they’re gonna go salvage an old boat. So, Rex goes onto the old boat, kills some monsters, and goes into a room with some girl in a pod, and a sword next to it. Rex does as much as touch the sword, and gets stabbed by one of the people he was sent with. Rex goes into some sort of dream, meets Pyra, reveals herself as the Aegis, and splits her Core Crystal with Rex to bring him back to life in exchange for Rex to take her to Elysium, which is basically heaven, but at the top of the world’s tallest tree. He comes back to life with Pyra, and the two of them attempted to beat up the people that killed Rex, the cat-girl betrays the evil guys, and the three of them get clobbered, and they land in Gormott. I can’t explain much more without spoiling anything, but this game is the best game ever. This game has an optimal setup if you’re playing for a long time. What you need: Blanket, Xenoblade 2, Nintendo Switch, Couch, Choccy Milk, and a wine glass. Fill the wine glass with choccy milk and set it on the arm of the couch. Boot up your switch and open Xenoblade 2. Put the switch in handheld mode and get on the couch, get comfy, throw the blanket on yourself and play Xenoblade until your Switch dies or you realise that it’s midnight and you should go to sleep. Please, please play this game.